To Whom It May Concern,
Let me start by saying that I know you will never believe me. But someone told me you would understand. They said you have experience in this kind of thing. To be honest, I just don’t know anyone else that won’t think I’m crazy. I just don’t want to feel alone anymore. I can’t be alone anymore.
I can’t get the way they smelled out of my head. It was aggressive and unapologetic. It bombarded your nose like burnt toast, then filled your nostrils like gasoline and hung onto your nose hairs like cat piss. The way they sound when they move, like a creaky old house and a car crash all at once, will never leave my ears. If I hadn’t seen them crawl from the earth myself, I’d think they weren’t from this planet. Maybe they weren’t, what do I know?
How the hell was I supposed to know that 4 day weekend camping trip was going to turn into every single one of my friends being ripped apart and devoured? I spent 2 days hiding in the roots of an upturned tree. I shit and pissed myself and starved just to survive. I deliriously watched as Brandon, Cailey, Jessica and Jody got hunted and played with like chew toys. How am I supposed to come back from this? How am I supposed to forget the distorted faces of my best friends that got stuck in place as they slowly died? How do I forgive myself for being the only one who got to come home? I can’t forget. That’s the answer- Unless you can tell me how.
I haven’t even mentioned this bite. One of those things got me. It pinned me down and tore into my leg. I had a stick that I sharpened the best I could the night before. I remembered watching my dad do this when I was a kid. It only bit me once and then just held me down and drank the blood from my wound. It lapped at the gash with its 3 separate tongues like a Hellhound at a water fountain. I took the stick and shoved it into its neck. He reared back and howled so loud I thought my head was going to explode from the sound. I scrambled away and that’s when I found the tree. They put me on some wicked strong antibiotic to fight the infection. It doesn’t seem to be getting any better though.
I can still see them when I close my eyes and I can hear them when it’s too quiet. They’re coming for me. I feel them burrowing their way through my skull. Every time I move it’s as if they are breaking through my skin. In order to ease the pain I just lay in my bed sedated by pot and pain killers. It doesn’t stop them though. It just slows them down. They are hunting me; and somehow I can see their every move.
I really hope to hear something back from you. Just to know that at least one person doesn’t think I’m crazy. I want to know that everything is going to be okay. Maybe you can convince me that they aren’t still coming for me. Maybe you can try?
Writing this all out has made me feel better. Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you even exist. I’m going to go take a shower now. No matter how much I clean myself I can’t seem to get rid of that smell of burnt toast, gasoline and cat piss. It doesn’t help that every time I move I feel like a creaky old house and a car crash all at once.
A Sole Survivor
Learn more about Matthew Dwyer.